You Can Resolve or You Can Decide – Which one can change your life?

So the new year has begun and all over the world resolutions are being made – and the majority of those resolutions will never be accomplished.

A great place to see this in action is at the gym where, on January 2, crowds of people who haven’t seen the inside of a health club maybe ever and who haven’t worked out for most of the previous year suddenly show up in
their workout clothes, having made that all-too-familiar resolution to finally lose the weight and get into shape. The gym stays crowded with these fervent health worshippers for about a month, maybe 6 weeks, until the pursuit of trim hips and toned muscles becomes just way too much to continue.

And, as suddenly as it began, the crowds melt away and only the hard-core individuals remain. I’ve seen it in so many other situations – the “this is the year that I will________________ for good” New Year’s resolution syndrome.

Fill in the blank, maybe it’s quit drinking too much, quit an unhappy job or leave an unhappy relationship, lose the weight, give up unhealthy habits, start saving money, and the list goes on. And, many if not the majority of them won’t last past the moment at which following through becomes less
rewarding and less entertaining than sliding back into the old ways.

So why is it so difficult to make our resolutions our reality?

The answer is actually pretty simple – we tend to form resolutions around the things we think we should do rather than the things that are truly important to us. It goes back to a question I suggested in an earlier post, “how much do you want it?”. We seem to lose interest fairly quickly in the things we feel obligated to do, and we tend to stay motivated in the pursuit of those things that we genuinely want.

Rather than struggling to conquer the treadmill and do battle with the stationary bike (insert your own resolution here), it might serve to explore the “meta goal” (remember that term from an earlier post?). There is always a deeper or meta goal behind the goal we present to the world and to ourselves.

What is it that I want to accomplish through going to the gym several times a week? Nicer body? Well, what do I want to experience from having a better looking body? More positive attention? And what do I want to have through getting more positive attention? Greater confidence?

At a point in this exploration it becomes clear that there is nothing deeper coming up. If, as in this example, greater confidence is the meta goal (what you’re really seeking), then it’s time to research the other ways, the myriad ways to develop confidence. And there’s always another way. Deciding rather than resolving to change something in your life can transform everything if you want it enough to make it happen and to follow through until that transformation becomes your new reality.

So what is it that you really want, and how much do you want it? Enough to believe in yourself and stick with it until you get what you want?