“I Had No Choice. . . . . Really? “

I hear this a lot, that the actions taken by an individual were, in a
sense, forced upon that individual; that there had been no other
action possible, no other choice available. But the truth is that in
every situation we face there are numerous, maybe hundreds of
other possible reactions or responses we could have chosen.
Some of those alternatives might seem silly or unproductive, but
the bottom line is that we are always at a choice point, whatever
the circumstances.

The choices we make will determine the quality of the
experiences we have, the quality of the relationships we develop,
and the perspective by which we see, interpret, and respond to
life. We can choose to feel resentment, bitterness, fear, suspicion,
and other toxic emotions and, as a result, to lash out
inappropriately or push well-meaning people away or assume that
others are out to get us; or, we can choose to look for (and find)
the good in life, the beauty around us, and the people who can
enhance the quality of our lives if we allow it.

We are always at a choice point. I am reminded of a gentleman
who was born with a rare condition which left him with no arms
or legs – he is a head and a torso. From the moment he was old
enough to make choices he could have chosen to feel sorry for
himself, to feel like a victim. But instead he chose to look for the
ways in which he could use his unique situation to make a
difference in the lives of other people. He became a motivational
speaker helping his audiences move through difficult
circumstances.

What made the difference between this man and those who
wallow in perceived victimhood? Choice. That’s all – he made a
different choice. And his choice has allowed him to live well while
helping many others. The point is that there are always other
choices, other and often better ways to respond to and deal with
whatever we’re facing. It’s up to us to find those other choices
and to apply them in life-giving ways.

An excellent question to ask on a daily basis and sometimes more
than once a day is “how do I choose to show up today or in this
situation? Do I choose to show up as the angry and vengeful
person who does more damage than good, or do I choose to show
up as a person who prefers to bring her/his inherent excellence,
wisdom, and peace to whatever is going on in and around me and
to use those qualities to make a positive difference in the world?”
The choice is always yours.