We were meeting to talk about women and their dreams – what they wanted to be, do,
and have. There was a lot of conversation – until I asked when each of these women
would actively pursue her dream. Things got very quiet, and then, one by one, they began responding.
“I’ll do it:
When the kids are grown
When I have more money
When I have more time
When I’ve lost weight
When I feel more confident
When I don’t have anyone depending on me
When my husband/partner/family understands and approves
When I’m certain that I can make it happen”
And the list goes on…..
The women meeting with me as part of a mastermind group were sincere in their objections to my suggestion that they DO get to have what they want. “It’s not the right time”, “maybe it’s just not meant to be”, “what if I fail, what if I try and can’t do it, I’ll feel like such a loser and everyone will know I’m a failure”. But what I knew, despite their heartfelt protests, was that underneath those doubts lay something dark and debilitating, something insidious that kept them stuck with vibrant and do-able dreams that were slowly withering away.
The good news is that, although they may begin to wither, the dreams don’t die; their shape may change as time goes on, but the dream is there for a reason and remains a part of you. However, our dreams may go into hibernation when suffering from neglect.
And the longer the dreams stay in hibernation, and the more we try to ignore them and label them “impossible”, “silly” or “impractical”, the more they haunt us, feeling like a rock in a shoe; only, in this case, it’s a rock in your soul. Always there, ongoing discomfort, can’t be ignored forever.
But the very good news is that you DO get to be/do/have what you want.
Your dreams are achievable IF you will acknowledge them, embrace them, honor them, and make a simple commitment to living fully present and recognizing that who you are and what you can bring to the world is essential, to you and also to the rest of us. A very wise teacher
whose work I have followed for years says that we are not given a dream to pursue until there has also been given a way to achieve that dream. That means that your dreams are possible; it’s up to you to make them happen.
So, it’s easy to say, but may not seem so easy to do. How to even begin chasing down and living your dreams if, for years, you’ve worked hard to put them out of your mind and to tell yourself that the dreams are not available to you? How to take seriously this dream that seems so far away and out of reach?
The process begins with several powerful questions – “What do I really want? Why do I want it (what do I believe living the dream will do for me)? How much do I want it (am I just interested in it, or am I committed to making it happen)?” Commit to answering these with raw and in-your-face honesty. Sugar-coating your responses won’t move you any closer to what you truly want.
The next step, after considering and answering those questions with total honesty, is to (with equal honesty) examine the beliefs that have kept you from a serious and successful pursuit in the past. “Why am I not living the dream? What comes to mind when I think about making it happen? What am I afraid will happen if I get real about making the dream my reality?”
Once you’ve answered these deceptively simple questions, it’s time to begin a powerful step-by-step process to take you where you
really want to be. This will likely require the help of someone trained in this process (and will go much faster and more smoothly with such help), someone who knows how to keep you on track and to help you let go of beliefs that have kept you stuck and replace them with beliefs that support what you have decided to make happen.
Woman Rising Strong 