So there’s the dream, that thing you think about, fantasize about, imagine in full color with unlimited possibilities.
It may be the thing that keeps you going through situations that are less than fantasy material, but that you may not actually be taking steps toward. You may imagine this dream with thoughts like “It would be so cool if I could___________________” or “if I were a (fill in the blank here) rock star/millionaire/internationally known and loved celebrity/a stunningly gorgeous individual who everyone wants to be with/ etc. then I could____________________”
Those dreams can be useful, maybe even thrilling, but often not closely related to what we really want, what we think we can get if only we can accomplish that dream. That’s where the meta dream/goal comes in, and it’s frequently hidden beneath the surface dream and even more important.
The meta dream or goal is the goal under the goal, the deeper thing we want (often unaware) that we think can be reached through the surface dream we think will make everything better. Case in point – a woman came in to work with me, asking me to help her reach her goal/dream of becoming a model, but not just a model, rather a supermodel. I suppose that was an OK goal, depending on why she wanted it. But there were a couple of obvious obstacles that were going to be difficult to overcome. First, she was 62 years old and overweight, and I know enough about the modeling and fashion worlds to know that those 2 things would immediately keep her out of the running for supermodel status (nothing wrong with being an older woman, but the world of modeling is ruthless and even cruel, and not one to encourage an older woman to find her place as a fashion plate); second obstacle I saw immediately was that this woman knew nothing about that field and what was required, and knew nobody in the field who could gently guide her in her quest. I could have discouraged her, told her to get real and come up with another and more practical dream. But I knew there was something under the goal that was much more important than learning about makeup and better posture.
So I began exploring her deeper reasons for the dream, what she thought being a supermodel would do for her. And there it was, in stark and a little bit of heart-breaking clarity. What this kind but lonely and often ignored and dismissed woman wanted (and thought she could only have if she became a supermodel) was to be noticed, to be taken seriously, to feel valuable, and to make a difference. There are many ways to reach all that, many paths that could (and eventually did) take her to that place of self-respect, peace, and a life she truly enjoyed. But to get there she had to get clear about the meta goal, the dream under the dream. And once she started on the path to a meaningful life she quickly lost interest in the whole supermodel thing. She didn’t need it, she had found her own unique path and was happy, maybe for the first time.
There are many similar stories, people looking for an external solution when the real answer is always within. And many surface dreams that, if achieved, prove not to be the key to life that had been anticipated. And many resolutions to the “if only. . . “ dilemma that haunts so many, resolutions that are waiting at a deep place within just to be recognized and invited to play.
So what’s your meta goal? Finding it just may change your life.
Woman Rising Strong 